I'm a tad late in sharing this as I am now 18.5 weeks along, Due Sept.17th and will be finding out the gender next week!
I'll be honest, Genevieve's birth traumatized me. I knew I wanted more kids, but after a major surgery, I was hesitant to have them as close as Walker and Genevieve are (18 months).
The shock of my failed epidural, the rush of an emergency C-section and the long difficult recovery was fresh in my mind for a while.
I was not prepared for the recovery after a C-section. It hurt to laugh and cough, I constantly needed help getting off and on the couch, as well as in and out of bed. I was not used to this extreme dependency. I constantly felt so helpless. Even though everyone, especially my husband, assured me that I was not a burden and that they freely and willingly helped me. It still felt uncomfortable.
My internal organs truly felt shifted, like they had been messed with.
I broke our rule of never sleeping with children in the bed for the sake and convenience of not having to get out of bed to nurse my child; rather I put her in the bed with us and nursed her.
Knowing that any child I birthed from here on out would have to be a C-section, I reflected on Genevieve's birth quite a bit, and would begin to shake. When I say this, most girls give me a nudge with a wink and say, "If you find the right Dr you can have a VBAC." (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean)
Well, I deliver 10 lb + babies, and if I try to push one out now having a C-section scar, either myself and/or my child could die, sooo no, I will not be searching for that 'special' Dr that is willing to jeopardize mine and my child's life so I can have a vaginal birth... thank you.
I have spoke to so many women who have undergone multiple C-sections and each and every one of them has assured me that a scheduled, un-labored C-section is significantly easier on the mind and body.
Speaking to these women has helped me tremendously. Speaking with my husband about my concerns and struggles has also helped, so when we did get pregnant, he would be aware of my fears to better help me cope through the next C-section we would have.
I refuse to be on birth control because it interferes quite a bit with my hypothyroidism, so it was inevitable that after I stopped nursing Genevieve, we would get pregnant. I nursed her for a full year, and by that time, I was coping much better with the thought of a C-section delivery.
It didn't take long before I found out I was pregnant. My periods were still a bit off from when I stopped nursing Genevieve, but according to my period tracker app, I was supposed to start a period mid January, and I never did. I took a test, in disbelief cause I was expecting at least another month of an off period.
Those 2 pink lines showed up so fast and that was it, I was on my way to C-section #2.
Cameron came home and I shared the exciting news, he was just as thrilled. He loves having kids and was ecstatic to hear a 4th baby would be joining us.
My nausea in the first trimester was not awful, but just lingered at moderate intensity for about 6 weeks straight. I got night time headaches, which was a new one for me. As well as lower back pain.
I was sure that we were having twins this time, but after 2 ultrasounds, they have confirmed that there is just 1 sweet little babe in there.
I have been feeling sweet jabs and kicks over the last several weeks, which is so comforting to know that the baby is ok.
I have not had any real strong feelings of what the gender of this baby will be. Of course, I will be happy with either a boy or a girl, but I think deep down I'd like another girl. Cameron without a doubt believes it's a boy.
We'll know in 10 short days what our sweet little one will be. I am so anxious and excited!
