It's Another Boy!!

I am now halfway through my pregnancy and I've got to say, it's such a relief to be halfway to meeting our little baby.
At first, it felt like we'd never get here, and that May was too far away. But here I am, 20 weeks pregnant and 4 months away from meeting our new baby boy.

So, usually you find out the gender around 19-20 weeks when you have your anatomy scan ultrasound, but we knew Cameron would be working and wouldn't be able to make that ultrasound, so our amazing OB scheduled to have us find out the gender on Dec. 11th when I was 17.5 weeks. Lucky for us, Cameron's parents were in town that same weekend and would be able to come with us to the ultrasound!

My Dr ended up being switched to on-call that week, so when I went in for my appt, I didn't know if we'd even be able to do the ultrasound because my Dr could possibly be delivering babies. So we hoped, prayed and crossed our fingers that we would be able to do the ultrasound. When we checked in for the appt, they got us into a room right away, and my Dr was in shortly after and spent plenty of time with us to find out the gender. Our little baby was being just a little stubborn, but it was really fun watching my in-laws reactions to seeing our little baby move around. And then when we go close to the baby's legs, suddenly we all saw without a doubt, we were having another boy!!!! We are so SO excited to welcome Walker James into our family!

Now, being 20 weeks, the kicks and flutters are getting stronger and stronger. Cameron was finally able to feel Walker kick last week, which is one of my favorite parts of pregnancy!

I had my 20 week scan this last Friday. The appt took about an hour, which I was fine with cause I got to see Walker moving around a lot. But the tech was a little rough, she kept digging into my stomach to get certain pictures of Walker. My belly was extremely sore afterwards, and it's still a little sore today. I loved watching Walker move around, opening and closing his mouth, and seeing that he looks a lot like his big brother!!!

Baby On The Way!

The time has come!! We are finally pregnant again!!! After trying to get pregnant for nearly a year, with a 3 month break while my husband was gone on deployment, we are now pregnant!

I've got to admit, as excited as I was to finally be pregnant, I was also terrified. It seemed like May 17th would never get here. It felt like the first trimester was never going to end. And as much as I try not to stress, I will admit, I was a little stressed. Which I know is all normal to feel after having a miscarriage, but I was trying to not let those those get to me too much. 

My husband was so comforting and supportive during this time. He kept assuring me that this is a completely new pregnancy, and that everything would be fine.

I urged my OB to give me an ultrasound at 7 weeks to calm some of my nerves. And that's exactly what happened. The baby had a beautiful heartbeat, and was measuring perfectly on time.

I was able to continue on the first trimester and had a date scheduled for another ultrasound in 5 weeks. 

I was very nauseous and threw up a few times, but I was prepared this time. I had my nausea medication ready to go! I felt like this pregnancy I've been more tired than my last 2 pregnancy's. When I was getting tired of the nauseous feeling, Cameron would tell me "The more sick you are, the cuter the baby" and that helped me get through it. Knowing that I was enduring this to bring a cute little baby into our family is absolutely worth it.

At last, week 12.5 came and we had another ultrasound. This one I was a little nervous for because that's exactly how far along I was last time when we found out we lost the baby. But I was pretty sure I was already feeling some movement from the baby, so I was pretty sure everything was going to be just fine. My OB was so sweet and as soon as she started the ultrasound she was admiring our beautiful baby and all the features. The baby was not only very healthy, but measuring a full week ahead! We've felt that this baby will be a boy, and the heartbeat was 150, same as Waylon, and typically the range boys' heartbeats are in. We would love to have a boy or girl, we truly just want a healthy baby, and so far the baby is perfectly healthy!

I am now 14 weeks and the nausea is finally subsiding and my belly is bigger every day. It's really true, you start showing sooner with each baby. People have noticed my bump since week 11 haha

With Waylon, nobody could tell I was pregnant until I was about 16-17 weeks. 

We already have a date set to find out the gender, which is Dec. 11th! I'm so excited, I can't wait to finally have a name to call this sweet baby. The kicks are getting stronger and more frequent. I love feeling the kicks, they are so reassuring and so fun to feel. 

I love to Crochet!

In my last post I briefly mentioned that I had crochet projects to work on while my husband was gone on deployment. So I figured I'd go into more detail about how I got started in crochet and projects I've done over the years.

How I got started...

My Grandma Davies (my dad's mom) crocheted. She would crochet blankets, dresses for dolls, animals, she did it all. I remember really being connected to the dolls with the crochet dresses because it was a deal my grandma had. We'd go to the store, I'd pick out the doll and would get her clothes and my grandma would make her a dress. She made Snow White & Prince Charming, Santa & Mrs. Claus, Pocahontas, a Southern Grandma and more. I loved those dolls and their outfits. When I was 8 years old, my Grandma was teaching the 8 year old girls in our church how to crochet. She had me wait in the back room while she taught her class, but the girls were the same age as me and I wanted to be part of the class too. So I snuck out of the back room and joined the class. I was there every week while she taught her class. I'm still great friend's with one of the girl's from that class 18 years later.

During those classes we started small with scrunchies (a 90's must-have accessory), small blankets and such.

When my Grandma passed away 4 years later, I started crocheting more because I felt reconnected to her. It was my way to feel like she was there again.

Periodically I would go back to crocheting. It was a stress relief for me. A way to escape the world for a bit and create something with my own hands.

My Projects...

 When Cameron and I got married, he loved that I crocheted and encouraged me to learn all I could and make everything I wanted to. One of the many reasons I love him so much, he pushes me to be the best I can.

I started out small with baby booties, big fluffy baby blankets and a hat. Some lap blankets that I started out making never got finished.

When Cameron joined the Navy and we moved to SC, I wasn't working, and we were trying to get pregnant, so crochet became a big part of my life again. I started to make head bands and little dresses for our niece.

And I made a huge American flag blanket that I'm so bummed I don't have a picture of. I was going to put it on our couch, but my mother-in-law liked it so much, I sent it to her. I've been meaning to make another one, which is actually a great project for deployments because it definitely takes time to make.

Later when my sister and I both found out we were pregnant, I started making more baby things. She found out she was having another girl so I made more dresses and skirts. I made my first sashay yarn skirt, which is one of my favorites!

And then we found out we were having a boy so I made sneakers, cowboy boots and cowboy hats! Those cowboy hats were so fun because it was my first time crocheting wire into the hat to make the brim.

I also started making dresses for my dog to wear during the colder weather. As well as mug cozy's because I like to drink tea year round, and hot chocolate during the winter months. While making the mug cozy's is when I discovered 2 stranded crocheting! I love the color possibilities and the sturdiness it gives to your projects. It allowed me to hold the cozy without feeling the heat from my cup. It opened my eyes to so many possibilities!

When I found out my best friend in Arizona, Kiersten, was having a baby, I knew I wanted to make something. I wanted to make it meaningful and I wanted to try a Granny Square blanket. So instead of working side to side, you're working in a round using a square pattern. Kiersten is originally from Florida and she is a HUGE Gators fan and their color are orange and blue. So I made a white, blue and orange blanket for her little boy. And I think he very much approves of the blanket.

When we moved to Washington one of friends found out she was having a girl, so I decided to make her dresses using a new pattern. I also tried making a bow with curled tails. Oh my goodness, that was such a fun project! I loved that pattern so much I made 2 more dresses like it! I also made her a small star shaped blanket with an elephant head on it. That was my first attempt at making an animal, and I love how it turned out! I made a granny square blanket as well with the same pink, white and yellow from her dresses, as well as some purple.

Here is Eliza wearing the blue dress I made for her. 

 I saw on pinterest a crocheted play mat! I thought that was so clever! What CAN'T you make with crochet?? So I decided to make one for our son. It was a pretty tedious project, but I think it turned out great. I actually wish I had made it bigger with more textures. I loved the idea of a blanket with different textures on it. I would love to make more like this.

And here is my latest project. Cameron and I have talked about bringing our scriptures to church instead of just having them on our phones. Which is convenient, but sometimes we just miss having our scriptures with us and marking in them. I don't have a case for my scriptures and I was going to purchase one then Cameron suggested I make one! So here it is, my scripture case! I love how it came out. I'm still debating adding handles. I made one and added it on, but didn't like it.

There's so much more that I've made and I am so humbled that I've been able to develop this skill and improve upon it. I will never grow old of crochet and I'm excited to see what else I can create.

Why aren't you selling this stuff??

Well, I've definitely thought about it. I absolutely could devote time to making and selling the items I crochet. Part of me would love that! Other parts of me get very overwhelmed by the idea, and dealing with possible upset customers scares me. I crochet for fun and I genuinely love to crochet, and I worry that the pressures of selling my items might not make it as enjoyable. Who knows, maybe I will start selling them one day.

What Do You Do?

"What Do You Do?" I get asked this A LOT during Cameron's deployment. What do I do to keep sane? What do I do to keep busy? What do I do to keep myself from getting depressed?

At first it was a lot of, "Well, I don't work so I mostly stay home with my son. We go to the park, I craft and crochet." And I always felt bad about how much that answer lacked busy-ness, but it doesn't! I care for my toddler son 24/7. I get no breaks. I also keep up with the house. I water the lawn. I fix what needs fixin'. I cook all the meals. I do all of the chores. I make sure all of the bills are paid. I make sure our cars are running properly. And somehow in between all of that, I find time to work on puzzles, crochet a new project, or watch a show.

So my answer has changed. What do I do? I do all the roles of mom, wife, daddy and husband. Of course I have friends who are more than helpful, and spend time with me to help pass the time.

The other major thing I do while my husband is gone? I workout! Yep, I keep a workout routine going for many reasons. Working out makes you happy! It helps boost your endorphins to make you happy, which helps keep you from getting depressed, and gives you something to look forward to each day. I also workout so that I can look and feel amazing when my husband gets back ;) I always feel so much more confident about myself when I work out. I don't like being insecure, so I workout to help me feel more secure about myself.

Along with working out, I can keep track of what I'm eating. That takes up some time as well with planning your meals and keeping track of your what you're eating.

Visiting family is a great way to pass deployment time. At the beginning of this deployment my son and I went to visit family for 3 weeks, and it helped out a lot. I was able to be with family, and do lots of things to help pass the time like park days, going to the lake, parties, and family dinner dates.

There is a lot to do, and a lot to be done while your spouse is on deployment. It's just having the perspective to see that.

So what do I do when Cameron is gone? Everything.

Small Acts of Kindness

I know I haven't publicly said that Cameron is currently deployed, and I'm sure many of my friends have put it together when I visited Arizona for nearly 3 weeks without Cameron. I don't like publicly posting that my husband is gone, but I felt like I needed to state that to let you fully understand my emotions today.

Today started out normal. Waylon and I got up, watched a movie, got ready for church and Waylon even fell asleep before church. So I went early so ensure that he would get a good nap in today.

Sacrament meeting was beautiful because of the testimonies shared, and Waylon slept for nearly all of Sacrament meeting. As it ended, an elderly man came up to me, who I had seen a couple times but never knew his name, and he handed me some folded pieces of paper. He said that it was some poems he had written and he thought I would enjoy them. I was surprised, and thanked him. I told Waylon we would read them together later.

After Sacrament meeting I dropped off Waylon at Nursery, and he wasn't too happy about that. During Sunday I debating going to get him, but I knew he was going to be ok, and I wanted to listen to the lesson in Sunday School. So after Sunday School I went and checked on Waylon and he was doing better, still a little upset, but better. So I went to Relief Society.

It was when I got to Relief Society that I realized why I wanted to have Waylon with me so bad. Every time someone opened the door, I was hoping it would be Cameron walking through the door, knowing it was not his time to come home. I wanted Waylon there to comfort me and help fill the emptiness of having Cameron gone. I started to tear up, but I composed myself, and let Waylon stay in Nursery to help him get used to it.

Later when we came home, I opened the poems and read each one. They were so sweet and helped comfort me. I looked at the date they were written and they were from 1985, 1992, and 2009, but they felt like they were for me, at this moment in my life. Mostly about being a mom, and others about a boy growing up and what he wants to be. I felt like it was exactly what my heart had been trying to say. It gave me the courage to endure the rest of this deployment, and that I was being a great mom for Waylon.

I'm so grateful for that simple act of kindness and the boost it gave me. And I'm so grateful that man listened to the prompting of giving those poems to me.

It's Been a Year

A year ago this month we starting trying to get pregnant. All the doubt and anxiety of trying to get pregnant came rushing back. I was really hoping it wouldn't take us a year, because we wanted our kids close in age, so we decided to go ahead and start trying. My health was much better, my thyroid levels were better, and my body had already been through pregnancy so we were hopeful it would be easier this time around. After 3 months of trying, I was getting worried, but I knew that it was normal to take 3-6 months to get pregnant.
I visited family in Arizona in July, and at that time, I was fairly certain I was pregnant, but not 100% sure. Which would mean it only took us 4 months to get pregnant. I decided to wait until I got back to South Carolina to take a test. I was 4 days late and took a test, it was positive. We were pregnant!

Now here we are... a year later, no baby, and not pregnant. I have a lot of mixed feelings. I'm sad that we are not a family of 4 yet. I'm happy to not be 9 months pregnant with a toddler that runs everywhere and is still in diapers. I'm confused as to why we still aren't pregnant, and why we lost the last baby. I'm stressed that we are running out of time to get pregnant before Cameron leaves on deployment. And I don't understand why it has to be so hard to get pregnant.

All these questions and concerns run through my mind with not a clear answer. All I can do is trust. Trust in the Lord's timing. Trust that He knows what is best for our family, and trust that through this trial and heartache, blessings will come.

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster though. One day I'm fine, I'm happy, I accept what is happening. Other times I'm angry, sad and bitter that that sweet baby was taken from us.

This month also marks my due date for my last pregnancy. I was dreading this month. I was hoping to already be pregnant again so that this month would turn into a happy one, but we're not. And it's a relief to finally be putting this month behind me. To move forward with a better attitude, and trust once again.

Miscarriage Update

At our 2 week check-up, my Dr notcied there was still some embryonic stuff still in my uterus. He suggested a D&C, and I instantly panicked. The thought of having to do a D&C terrifies me. So he told me he was going to give me one more week to try and pass everything on my own. He also did a blood test that day, and said that my HCG levels were still high for someone who just miscarried.

I was already coping with the loss, but it just felt like it was dragging on. I wanted to move past this and start trying to get pregnant again. And as if that wasn't all enough, my Dr also found a cyst. He wasn't really concerned with it, but it was my first (as far as I knew), so it worried me. 

We went in the following week and we have finally passed all the embryonic stuff, which was a huge relief, but the cyst had nearly doubled in size. My Dr went ahead and gave us the ok to start tryiing to get pregnant again, but he was now concerned with the cyst. He wanted to give my body a chance to get rid of it on its own, so he wanted to see me back in 2 weeks. If the cyst measures 10 cm or more, then they will perform surgery to remove it. 

I am terrified, but I actually have peace in my heart, because I know that Heavenly Father is watching over us. This has been a rough month for our family, but it is making us stronger. And I'm so grateful that Cameron is a worthy priesthood holder. I asked him to give me a blessing after our last appointment. 

As I said in my last blog post, Waylon has made this process much easier on us. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad every time I see my friend's pregnancy progress on Facebook and Instagram. But I know that we'll get pregnant again, and be able to bring another sweet baby into our family.

Nov. 1st: We had our check-up and the cyst hadn't really grown, so they are just going to leave it, and let us try and get pregnant. It will either go away on it's own in 6-8 weeks, go away once we get pregnant, it could rupture, or if it's still there when we go to deliver the next baby, it will go away with delivery. So hopefully it will go away, and we are free to move forward  and try to get pregnant! Yay!

We had a miscarriage, and it's ok..

After struggling for a year to get pregnant with Waylon, we decided to get an early start with baby #2. So March 2016 we started trying, and as of July 6th 2016, I was pregnant!
We were so thrilled that it happened quickly this time and that our kids would be close in age.

We went in for an ultrasound at 7 weeks and 5 days, and we got to hear the heartbeat and see little twitches and movements from our sweet baby. They found some fluid outside of the sac, and based on the look of the ultrasound tech, it wasn't good. But she said to expect some spotting and not to worry, but she did want to see us back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound. I did have some very, very light spotting a couple days later, but it was to be expected. We found out the next week that we would be moving to Washington the week of the ultrasound. So I was a little nervous but there was nothing I could do about it.

Once we got to Washington, I made an appointment as soon as I could to do an ultrasound and make sure the fluid was gone, and that our baby was ok.

On Wednesday Sept 21st, 2016 we had the ultrasound. They tried to do the ultrasound from the outside, and I noticed that it was rather hard to see a baby, and the tech said that she was having a hard time getting a heartbeat. So they did a vaginal ultrasound and I saw that my uterus had grown like there was a 12 week baby in there, but there was only a petite 8 week baby with no heartbeat, and no movement. We were absolutely heartbroken. And there were all kinds of emotions that we were feeling. The ultrasound tech was so nice and so comforting. She told us that we didn't do anything to cause this, and not to get caught up in the negative thoughts. We took comfort in knowing that we are sealed to that sweet baby forever and we will meet again someday. And already having Waylon definitely made it easier to cope with this loss. Because we lost the baby early on, we didn't have to have a D&C as long as I passed everything.

We've had an outpouring of love and support from friends and family. I've had many friends reach out to me to offer support and advice to keep from getting depressed. And my sister and her husband sent us some beautiful flowers. And we can't thank everyone enough for that.

Waylon is 1!!!

I can't believe our sweet baby boy is one!!!

This year has flown by so fast and I have loved every minute of being his mommy! He was such a good baby from the beginning. He only fussed when he needed a diaper change, or when he was hungry. He slept very well at night, and he was so easy to please. It's been such an amazing experience watching him grow and learn.

 He got to have a Cars themed birthday party this year because he absolutely loves that movie! He even has a Cars chair that we took all his monthly pictures in, and my dad got him light up Lightning McQueen shoes! 

His best friend is Jaylee, a cute little girl that we call his girlfriend. He loved spending time with her and all the other kids his age.

Happy birthday to our sweet Waylon!!!

It's the little things..

It's not very often that we get to do Family Home Evening together. And when we do, it's sometimes a last minute thought. We are trying to get better about setting aside time together as a family each day and that gets hard with Cameron's schedule, but I have a hard time remembering to do it, even if it's just Waylon and I. 

But tonight, after Waylon's bath, Cameron suggested we read Waylon a bedtime story, so we gathered in Waylon's room and Cameron found short stories on the Gospel Library app. As Cameron was reading I teared up a little at the beautiful view I had. My heart was full looking at my beautiful family. It was so nice to take the time away from media and away from the world to invite the spirit into our home.

I am so blessed to have Cameron and Waylon. They bring me so much joy! It's these small moments that help me to see the bigger picture and make me realize that they truly are all I need. When I'm having a rough day, I look at my beautiful family and the world disappears. Heavenly Father truly knows us and what we need, and tonight my cup is very full.

Waylon - 6 Months old

Wow, I can't believe how fast 6 months has come and gone. Our little moose is half way to a year! It feels like it was just last week that we were bringing him home from the hospital.

He is so much fun right now, and it's fascinating to see him learning and growing. Since he was 2 weeks old he's been able to hold his head up, which was a big sign to us that he would be quick learner. 

He can roll over and turn in a circle to get what he wants. He is now able to sit up on his own which my back is very grateful for, and it has made grocery trips much easier. He said his first word 5 days ago, which was mom!! Now along with his baby babble he says mom and momma, and it melts my heart every time. We try to get him to say dada but he just smiles when you say it.

It's so fun to see his personality showing more and more each day. I feel like I get a small glimpse into the kind of person he will grow up to be. He is so strong! He has some of the strongest legs I have seen a baby his age have. We have an excersaucer that he absolutely loves to bounce in. He absolutely loves mom & dad, and he smiles at everyone he meets.

He has a tooth coming in! It's coming through his gums, but it hasn't quite cut through yet. And he has RED HAIR!? I never EVER thought I would have a child with red hair, and to our surprise, Waylon has red hair. Cameron's grandmother has a mom and 3 sisters with red hair, so that's where he got it from, but no one else in our family has red hair. It's pretty red so it's 50/50 whether it'll stay that way or get darker as he gets older. But it shocked Cameron and I both! haha

He loves when Cameron comes home! I'll be feeding him and he can hear anyone's voice and he won't budge, but as soon as he hears Cameron, he instantly looks around for him. He is definitely a momma's boy, but he sure does love his daddy!

He's also interacting with Daisy more. She gives him her toy and they'll play a little tug-o-war. She is so gentle with him, even when he grabs and pulls her beard haha 

He loves watching Cars and Toy Story, and football on Sundays.

He weighs 18 lbs., and is 27.5 inches long

Waylon's Baby Blessing/ Dad's visit

This weekend was AMAZING! My parents are really good at surprising me.. because my dad came out for Waylon's baby blessing!!! He got in Friday night a little before midnight. 

Cameron had told me earlier on Friday that we had to pick up his 'friend' from the airport a little after 11.  Well, around 9 PM, I decided that since Waylon was sleeping, that I'd get a little nap in myself. 11 o'clock rolls around and Cameron comes to wake me up. I was so exhausted I told him to go without Waylon and I. He said he really wanted his 'friend' to meet Waylon and bribed me with a milkshake. So we start heading to the airport and Waylon starts crying because he's hungry and got woken up from his nap. We had to stop in the cell phone lot before picking up Cameron's 'friend' so I could nurse Waylon. After that, we start pulling up to the front of the airport and I see a guy with a cardboard sign. In my mind I was thinking "Who's this guy with a sign expecting to get a ride from someone?" As we get closer I see that it's my dad!! I was so shocked, I started crying! His sign read "Help! Need ride to Waylon's baby blessing.." I hadn't seen my dad in over a year so I was so excited that he was able to take the time to come see us for a few short days. 

On Saturday, we packed in all the sight seeing. First we went to the beach to walk around and throw the frisbee back and forth. The weather was perfect and the water was fairly warm. Then we headed to Tattooed Moose for some yummy Duck Club Sandwiches and pinball challenge between Cameron and my dad. Next, we drove through Downtown Charleston to see the historic buildings and scenery. We also, walked through a park and from faraway, got a look at Fort Sumpter.

Sunday was Waylon's baby blessing! Cameron got to bless our sweet Waylon and my dad was able to be a part of it. It was a very tender and very special moment. I've dreamt of that day for a long time and having my dad be a part of it made it extra special. After church, we took my dad to go see Charlie. He's the 13 foot alligator that lives on base here. He's lives inside a caged pond with other little alligators.
Sunday was also bittersweet because my dad flew back home later that day.

We had such a great time with my dad here. I'm so grateful that he was able to come out here and share this special moment with us! Being away from your family, you really learn to cherish the time with them however small that may be.